In the International Handbook,
32 contributors from eight countries
discuss the theory, diagnosis,
treatment, and legal aspects
of Parental Alienation Syndrome:

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PAS FAQs

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

We've all heard the old expression "to poison someone's well." Each of us, at one time or another, has been the victim of character assassination. Someone has tarnished our reputation or turned a heart against us, even though we had done nothing to deserve such treatment. When one parent engages in such behavior against the other parent, it's called parental alienation. Parental alienation is a course of conduct in which one parent uses deprecation, denigration, and various degrees of criticism to alienate a child from the other parent. Parental alienation, however, goes far beyond simple brainwashing or indoctrination. If left unchecked, an alienator’s often obsessive, never-ending message of hate can wreak psychological havoc on a child, creating problems that last well into adulthood and possibly alienating the child from the targeted parent forever.

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is the term used to describe the effect of a combination of parental programming and the child's own contribution to the vilification of the targeted parent. Dr. Richard Gardner, a noted psychiatrist at Columbia University, coined the term Parental Alienation Syndrome in 1985. Gardner noticed that changes in legal policy were having an effect on how divorcing parents were interacting with each other. As early as the mid 1970s the “tender-years doctrine,” which held that the mother was the best choice for the custody younger children, was slowly losing ground to the concept of joint custody. How much physical custody a parent could get became a point of contention, and litigation in the area of child custody disputes exploded.

Parental Alienation Syndrome as a disorder remains controversial in psychological circles; however, PAS is now a legal reality. Family law courts across the country have recognized PAS in the context of custody litigation.

Why You Should be Concerned about Parental Alienation Syndrome

If you're a parent involved in some kind of custody litigation, and you think the other parent might be an alienator, you need to consider the possible effects of parental alienation syndrome on your children. As stated above, PAS can often have profound and long-lasting effects that can, under some circumstances, result in permanent alienation. PAS isn't limited to custody litigation, either. Parental alienation syndrome can become problematic long after the dust has settled and visitation orders have been put in place. Another thing to consider is that you might be up against multiple alienators. Yes, parental alienation syndrome can involve more than one alienator, more than one child, and can in fact be a multi-generational phenomenon. Besides the possibility of losing your children emotionally, the other big cause for concern in a PAS situation is false allegations of abuse. Alienators often resort to false accusations of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or both. For a detailed list of the warning signs of parental alienation syndrome, click here.

The Need for Psychological and Legal Expertise Regarding PAS

The purpose of PASattorney.com is to provide you with a source of expert psychological and legal information so that (1) you can recognize PAS and (2) make an educated decision on how to deal with it. Unlike most sources on the Internet, the staff of PASattorney.com combine psychological and legal expertise. Our senior staff member, Demosthenes Lorandos, is a PhD psychologist, an author of numerous works on PAS, and an attorney with many years of child custody litigation experience in the context of parental alienation syndrome. Behind Dr. Lorandos stands a staff of litigators, researchers, and investigators expert in family law matters in general and PAS in particular.

Any child custody dispute involving PAS is going to boil down to a battle of expert witnesses. The court will rely on expert testimony to determine the existence of parental alienation syndrome, and the court will rely on expert advice on what to do about PAS. Of course, don't expect impartiality from the other side's experts, but at the same time, don't expect complete impartiality from court-appointed experts. What's more, don't expect complete expertise, either. You will need a team of experts competent enough to separate good science from junk science. Trials involving parental alienation syndrome can be trials in every sense of the word, and the stakes are high.

Who first identified Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

The term Parental Alienation Syndrome was originally coined by noted psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner in mid 80s. Gardner noticed that changes in legal policy that had started about a decade earlier were having a profound effect on how divorcing parents were dealing with each other. The tender-years doctrine that assumed the mother was always the better choice for custody of younger children was being replaced by the idea of joint custody. Custody therefore became another battleground on which divorcing couples could wage war against each other.

What's the relationship between parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome?

Though the terms are often used interchangeably, parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome refer to two related yet distinct phenomena. Parental alienation refers to conduct designed to destroy a child's affection for the targeted parent, whereas Parental Alienation Syndrome refers to the effect that such conduct has on a child.

Doesn't Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) remain controversial in psychological circles?

The American Psychological Association (APA) has yet to take an official position on PAS. The courts, however, have embraced the concept of PAS in varying degrees, and PAS has become an integral concept in custody litigation not only in the United States, but also in courts throughout the world.

What are some of the warning signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

PAS has quite a few warning signs, yet they can be broken up into a few general categories:

Blaming

Blaming the other parent for breaking up the family
Blaming the other parent for whatever problem or problems may be beset the alienating parent

Spying

Using the children to spy on or gather dirt on the targeted parent
Questioning a child about the details of the other parent's personal life
Eavesdropping on phone conversations between the child and the targeted parent

Interfering with Visitation

Giving a child a choice as whether to visit the targeted parent (often in violation of a court order)
Being inflexible to reasonable changes in the visitation schedule
Scheduling activities that conflict with visitation
Creating temptations designed to make visitation less appealing

Miscellaneous

Refusing access to a child's medical or school records
Not allowing a child to transport his or her things between residences
Acting hurt or sad if a child enjoys his or her time with the other parent

Are there different degrees of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

Yes. PAS is generally broken down into three symptom levels: mild, moderate, and severe.

How is mild Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) characterized?

In mild cases of PAS, the alienator parent seeks to strengthen his or her position through subtle programming. In some cases, the parent realizes that alienating the child from the other parent is not in the child's best interest and therefore engages in no programming at all. Nonetheless, anger can be present, perhaps even some desire for vengeance. Unlike parents in the severe category, the parent in this category suffers from no paranoia.

Kids in the mild category are often motivated to strengthen one parent's position in an attempt to maintain a psychological bond with that parent. On the other hand, children in this category are often receptive to visitation and are the most likely to express affection for the other parent, even in the presence of the mild alienator.

How is moderate Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) characterized?

Alienators in the moderate category aren't as fanatical as those in the severe category, but rage is nonetheless an important factor. Consequently, the moderate alienator can wage an intense campaign of deprecation in an attempt to alienate the children from the other spouse. The moderate alienator will often be very creative in obstructing visitation but will usually comply when faced with a fine or possible change in custody. A parent who is a moderate alienator was most likely a good parent prior to divorce, and this differentiates the moderate from the severe alienator. Because of his or her good parenting skills, the moderate alienator often retains primary custody.

Children in a moderate alienation situation aren't as severe in their criticism of the targeted parent as severely alienated children, and they tend to stop their criticism when alone with the targeted parent. Younger children in the moderate category usually need the lead of an older sibling to maintain their half of an alienation campaign. Therefore, if a younger child develops Parental Alienation Syndrome, it is usually the result of imitating an older brother or sister. Though alienation in this category is by definition moderate, court-ordered therapy is warranted. Only one therapist should conduct the therapy, and he or she must report directly to the judge. For its part, the court must be willing to respond to obstructionism with all the means it has at its disposal, including fines, jail, or a threat of losing primary custody.

How is a severe case of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) characterized?

Severe alienators are fanatics who are obsessed with a hate for their former spouses. Severe alienators are often paranoid, and their paranoia involves projection. The severe alienator sees something in her- or himself and sees the same objectionable characteristic in the targeted parent. This projection allows the severe alienator to assume the role of innocent victim. False accusations of sexual abuse often arise in severe alienation scenarios, and the severe alienator will exaggerate and twist almost anything a child says in order to support such allegations. Unfortunately, this is an easy thing to do because children usually have sexual fantasies of one form or another. Severe alienators exhibit the hallmark of paranoid thinking in that they don't respond to reason, logic, or the obvious.

Severely alienated children are similarly fanatical and often share the same paranoid fantasies as the alienator parent. The mere thought of visiting the targeted parent is enough to terrify them. Severely alienated children are often so fearful and hostile that they will try to run away if placed in the targeted parent's home. Despite this, however, some severely alienated children may settle down somewhat if required to stay with the targeted parent over an extended period.

What is Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP)?

Hostile Aggressive Parenting is a term more or less synonymous with parental alienation. HAP appears most often in child custody disputes and refers to a course of conduct designed to alienate a child from one parent and align him or her with the other.

HAP is actually a form of child abuse and is not limited to biological parents. Anyone involved in the care and rearing of a child can engage in HAP--grandparents, other family members, and even daycare providers.